My own worst enemy

Right now I just need to vent. Hubby is dating wife #3 and it is driving me crazy. Her and I have gone at it several times and for some reason I always take the blame. Hubby said that I have been where she's at and I should be more understanding. He tells me that I'm my own worst enemy because every time I attack her (verbally) he has to defend her. She currently lives in another state but she comes down every weekend. So every weekend is her time with hubby. Well this weekend went o.k. I guess. She came on Saturday instead of Friday so I got to spend Friday with hubby and it we had a wonderful night. I don't know I have so many mixed feelings about her. I know my problems are because I am selfish and petty and this fact gets me in trouble all the time. Hubby keeps telling me I don't need to do anything, if she isn't right she'll do it herself. They have had several really arguments where they were going to end it but unfortunately they didn't. Anyhow Hubby said on Friday I think our lives would be simpler without Max (possible wife #3). Do you know what these comments do to me. It gives me hope that it may end up with it only being the two of us (wife #1 and me). I know in a sense the family needs her because we are hoping to start having more children and we need someone to be home with the kids. I just don't know she's young and she doesn't know how to do anything, she doesn't know how to cook, clean take care of the kids. Most time when she comes and spends the weekend with us, she's following hubby around like a little puppy. Which aggravates the hell out of me. Even with all that said If I had to pick someone it would be her (I'm not sure if that's because of a lack of other options or what). Well anyway I was snooping and I read a text hubby sent her and he said "You have no idea how much I love you". I feel so stupid, all this time he's led me to believe that it's not there yet, that he's still not sure about her. I feel like I've been duped. I just need to accept that she is going to be the #3 and within a year she will be living with us and I just need to step side and let her in, no matter how it hurts.